I conducted an interview with the novelist Oberon, author of 20 Blocks, in an effort to get insight into the workings of this emerging artist's mind. I hadn't had enough coffee.

Interview with Oberon: The Making of a Novelist

Smith: What do you prefer to be called?

Oberon: I guess I like being called my name. Don’t call me “Amber Star” or I’ll whoop that ass.

Smith: How old are you?

Oberon: 25. My birthday is September 9th. I am SUCH a Virgo.

Smith: Favorite color? (like this is a mystery)

Oberon: Purple. (note: Tyrian, see 20 Blocks.) I like amethyst, plum, all of them.

Smith: Would you say you had a sense of humor?

Oberon: I hope so. Otherwise, my parents would have wasted their time.

Smith: Where are you from?

Oberon:(vague) Buffalo, sorta. Here and there.

Smith: Is 20 Blocks your first book?

Oberon: Yes ma’am. Sho nuff.

Smith: When did you start writing?

Oberon: First time I got some Crayons.

Smith: Had you written any fiction before?

Oberon: Nope. Worked on an autobiography for five years and no, nobody can see it. (Note: I already did, goofball.)

Smith: Tell them how you met me.

Oberon: You gave me an entrance exam for college.

Smith: Your first words to me were: “Don’t I know you?”

Oberon: You looked fun.

Smith: When did you know you were here, in this incarnation, to be a writer?

Oberon: Seriously, about two years ago.

Smith: What’s your favorite movie?

Oberon:What category?

Smith: You’re an asshole.

Oberon: You gonna tell people you are calling me names?

Smith: Absolutely. Pick a damn movie.

Oberon: Rocky Horror.

Smith: Talk about your writing process for a minute.

Oberon: (note: takes long drag on red soda). Well. I get this question a lot. Its a quite simple answer, really. Sometimes I see stuff. And that stuff reminds me of other stuff. And then I write that stuff down. And the stuff I wrote down reminds me of other stuff. I write that stuff down. When I’m all out of stuff I finish writing the stuff down. And all the stuff is done.

Smith: Are you ever serious, even on pain of death?

Oberon: I reckon, on special occasions like a hanging or a serious hangover. (note: kidding, Oberon does not drink.)

Smith: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Oberon: In the NBA.

Smith: Nebraska Banker’s Association?

Oberon: Yeah. I’m only five foot nothing.

Smith: If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

Oberon: A tiger (sorry). Left the pack and never went back.

Smith: Funny. When did you know that you were in the presence of greatness?

Oberon: Every time I turn on CNN.

Smith: What influence has working with a minor genius cult novelist had on your work?

Oberon: Gives me that proverbial kick in the butt when I need it.

Smith: Will there be more, after 20 Blocks?

Oberon: I don’t think I have a choice.

Smith: What would you like your fans to know about you?

Oberon: I wear my socks inside out, and have since childhood. Can’t stand the crease across my toes. Am I right, people? You should probably know I’m completely neurotic, in a fun and wacky kind of way. (sic) And breakfast food is awesome anytime. I never drink breakfast beverages. Always gotta be pop with breakfast foods. I’m anti-o.j.

Smith: Would you consider yourself political?

Oberon: (snort) Yes I would. In fact, my friends probably wish I would shut up about it, once in a while.

Smith: You used the phrase “Frolicking in the figments” in your work. Talk about that.

Oberon: To frolic in the figments is symbolic of that special place at the edge of consciousness in which one can retreat to the land of candy canes and fantasies. I visit there often.

Smith: Candy cane- is that a subtle play on your family name? (Cain)

Oberon: My grandmother actually suggested that my mother name me Candace. Then I would have a real stripper’s name-Candy Cain. Amber Star is bad enough.

Smith: How did you get the name Oberon?

Oberon: I came to ‘University’ one day in a stunning pinstripe suit. A fellow student told me I looked like The Elf King. From that day forward Susan referred to me as Oberon. (note: the Elf King from Shakespeare’s Midsummer Nights’ Dream) So, around Christmas time I wore antlers with bells on them. Susan could not even look at me. (note: punk ass wore them during class, while I was trying to teach. Front row.) Lackawanna is where great minds meet.

Smith: Which of your characters are you? People always want to know that.

Oberon: Well. I would say that I’m a little of each, and not enough of any. But I identify the most with my inner Tabitha.

Smith: Its always fun having her around. Hey, you think anybody will get the cameo you gave me?

Oberon: Hope so. I think your friends will laugh. They will think we are BOTH geniuses.

Note: Oberon is currently working on ‘Pirates of the Audio-Visual Department’, a modern romance. Oberon, in revenge, conducted an interview with me. The Overlord and the Elf King