Sky interrupts again, “Your grandma sounds pretty cool. I’d like to meet her sometime. By the way, I wouldn’t think that Charles is a Polish name?”
Charlie replies, “ Charles is not a Polish name. My great grandparents changed it when they came to America to avoid some discrimination. That worked pretty well until they spoke in broken English.”
Sky tilts her head in interest, “So, how did your father end up in the restaurant business?”
“ Well, like I said, my grandfather was a cook for a while at a local restaurant. My father used to meet his father at work after school so that they could walk home together. I guess my father observed what people responded to in a restaurant, and decided to open his own when he was old enough. He started with a food cart that he dragged down to the steel mills and local factories during lunch time, and before he knew it there was enough money to open his own diner in downtown Buffalo. That’s where the money was. Serving breakfast and lunch to business people turned out to be a gold mine for him. He met my mother while she was having a lunch date with her college roommate. She complained about the food in her snobbish way, and he took her complaint in person. Then he recommended that she insult another business owner for her next meal. When my father confronted my mother it was instant attraction, and my mother started eating there everyday for lunch. It’s your classic love story right?
Sky giggles at the story, “Yes, I suppose that your mother was taken by a man who wasn’t afraid of her attitude!”
Charlie says, “That’s why I think that you are like my father. I’ve never seen you hold back an opinion, minus the little conversation that you had with my cousin Bryan tonight. I know that you only kept your mouth shut on my account. Thanks.”
The conversation raged and then subdued under the passage of time. At around three in the morning the two of them dazed into a trance from drinking wine, and then fell asleep on the couch in each other’s arms.
Charlie is dressed in her best New Year’s attire. Her sandy blonde hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail, leaving one long strand resting on her cheek. Sky admires Charlie from the doorway in silent observation. “Why Charlie, I swear that it takes you longer to put on a suit than it takes me to put on my war paint.”
Charlie jumps at the realization that she is being watched. She looks up at Sky in frustration as she tries to tuck her shirt in evenly; “Can you help me? I never was good at dressing myself.”
Sky laughs as she approaches her frustrated companion, “ I don’t know. My specialty is undressing you, but I guess that I need to broaden my horizons.”
Charlie shakes her head as Sky pulls at the bottom of her shirt; “There you go, Mr. Charlie. You clean up pretty nice!”
Charlie’s frustration disappears when she takes a moment to survey Sky. “You look great.”
Sky bats her eyelashes at Charlie in a fashion fit for an actress from a black and white movie, “Why, thank you, darling. You’re not bad yourself.”
Sky is dressed in black dress pants and a thin red v-neck blouse that exposes the delicate silver dove charm resting against her skin. Her short blonde hair is jelled to perfection, and her eyes are painted in dark black mascara. When Sky wears eye makeup it accents her light green eyes and makes them appear more cat-like. “Charlie, I know that you get nervous at parties, but I promise to stand by your side for the rest of the evening.”
Charlie smiles at Sky; “If you’re standing next to me I had better bring my baseball bat! I don’t want other women falling all over you!”
Sky laughs at this, “I’m glad you think that I’m worth all that trouble! Now, let’s try to get there before midnight, shall we?”
Sky’s friend Gary lived a few blocks away in a beautiful studio apartment, decorated with gay boy flare. When the door opens Gary stands in front of them with his arms outstretched for hugs. Sky nudges Charlie in the back to make her embrace Gary. Charlie does not know him very well, and Sky knows that he will be insulted if he does not receive a warm hello. Gary’s embrace nearly knocks Charlie over. She did not expect to be mauled by this flamboyant character.
When Gary finally lets go of the stunned Charlie he exclaims, “Happy New Year! I’m so glad that you could both make it. There are snacks on the table over there, and plenty of liquid refreshments in the fridge. Please help yourselves!”
He hugs Sky and tells her how ravishing she looks in her fancy duds. Followed by a whisper in her ear, “Why Sky, if Charlie were a boy I’d date her myself!”
Sky laughs and says, “You stay away from my man damn it!” Then she follows Charlie to the closet to hang their coats.
Sky pauses at Charlie’s back when she notices Rochelle standing on the other side of the room. Rochelle is a stunning woman who stands five foot eight and has short salt and pepper hair surrounding a heart shaped face. Rochelle peers at Sky with those penetrating hazel eyes. Sky feels herself become uncomfortable under the force of that stare. She had not seen Rochelle since Charlie stepped into the picture, and she knew that this would be an awkward evening for everyone involved.
Before Sky has a chance to evaluate the situation Rochelle is already crossing the room toward them. “Hello, Sky, how have you been? I haven’t heard from you in a few months.”
Charlie turns away from the closet to find Rochelle shaking Sky’s hand with too much familiarity. Sky can feel Charlie seething next to her, and she wonders how she is going to live through this.
Sky has to speak to Rochelle eventually, and after a short pause she replies, “Hi Rochelle, I’ve…uh, been busy with school and all…you know how it is. This is…Charlie.”
Sky fumbles over her words in the midst of shock.
Rochelle looks Charlie over without subtlety, "Hello, Charlie, it’s nice to meet you.”
Charlie shakes her hand with hesitation.
Sky nearly swallows her tongue when Rochelle looks at her over Charlie’s shoulder and says, “I hope you’re doing well in school. I called in a lot of favors for your admittance.”
Sky tries to maintain her composure. Rochelle calmly turns her back and walks away.
Charlie turns to Sky, “Who the hell was that?”
Sky feels her body go numb as she tries to explain Rochelle to Charlie, “That’s Rochelle Matthews. I met her eight months ago at a charity fund-raiser in Albany. She’s a lawyer from Long Island, and she helped me get into Columbia.”
Charlie is not pleased, “Did you go out with her?”
Sky looks at her hands as she speaks, “Yes, I guess you could call it that, but I…” she isn’t sure how to end that sentence. Instead, she just stands there, waiting for Charlie’s reaction.
Charlie squints at Sky, “Oh, I understand. That’s one way to pay your tuition!”
Sky feels her stomach tie itself in a knot at the angered response from Charlie. She is mortally wounded by the tone in Charlie’s voice; it echoes the accusations Sky has encountered from her own mother.
Sky tries to shrug off her anger, “That’s old news honey. I’m with you now, and I swear that I haven’t seen Rochelle since we’ve been together.”
Charlie looks like someone just walked over her grave, “Well, I’m thrilled that you haven’t been sleeping with other women since we’ve been together! Is there anyone else here that I should meet?”
Before Charlie had a chance to throw more sharpened daggers at Sky another party guest approached and halted Charlie’s temporary lapse in public behavior.
Sky looks up to see the overly pierced face of Tabitha smiling broadly at her, “Hey kids, what’s all the hubbub? What’s the deal? What’s the destination? Trouble in cuddly bear land?”
This type of greeting is typical from Tabitha, and ironically it is just the kind of nonsense psychobabble that could derail the potential disaster in progress. Tabitha is a fast-talking, fast moving, and fast thinking bass player in a band called, ‘Mental Floss.’ She is alarming upon first glance- with her fire engine red hair tied in tiny knots on top of her head and her face full of metal self-expression. She has shaved off her eyebrows completely and has two rows of silver studs above her eyes. She is dressed in typical “Tabitha attire” which included knee high black leather boots, a red plaid skirt held together with a huge safety pin, a tight fitting black shirt that exposes her tattooed flesh, and a black leather biker jacket.
Tabitha’s rapid movements and ecstatic approach to life in general brings a smile to Sky’s face despite the fact that her and Charlie were having their very first conflict.
Sky greets Tabitha with a big hug, and says, “The hubbub is just ducky. The deal fell through. Destinations are overrated, and cuddly bear land was built over a swamp. What’s the temperature like in Tabitha’s corner of the World?”
Tabitha looked surprised. Not many people took the time to answer all of her questions. She usually just rambled on in this way until people were too overwhelmed to participate in witty banter. She did not anticipate the response of a journalist.
“Sky, haven’t you ever heard of a rhetorical question?”
“Yes, Tabitha, but if you’re going to ask me rhetorical questions it should be assumed that I will answer them anyway.”
Tabitha nods her head in approval, “That’s what I like about you Sparky. You got class, style, brains, and all that other good shit!”
Sky laughs, “You should be my agent! Do you think that you could influence the masses for me? I’m having a little trouble relating to humans now that they feel observed by the shady journalist.”
Tabitha throws her arm over Sky’s shoulder, “Sure kid! Whadda ya need? Fluorescent banners, flattering posters, a high flying circus full of ill tempered elephants, and unreasonably flexible gymnasts? Maybe I could collect a band of coffee drinking lemurs to follow you around town and train them to bite anyone who looks at you funny. Ya, that would work. I can see it now… idiots will cower in fear at the threat of bitter alkaloid monkey bites! You’ll be more famous than that guy who ate his entire car in tiny pieces. Man, that’s the price of fame? You have to ingest poorly designed vehicles, or have an entourage of seriously disturbed primates in order to achieve god like status? I think I might just have a beer and maybe masturbate before bed. You can have the whole fame thing. I’ll just help you out between gigs. Deal?”
Sky felt better after Tabitha’s rant and glanced over at Charlie in curiosity of her reaction to all of this.
Charlie was shaking her head and giggling. Sky relaxed a bit, and Charlie realized her overreaction to the situation. The two of them looked at each other in confirmation of a truce. This flare-up between them was something to be dealt with at a more appropriate time. Besides, how could anyone stay mad in the presence of the charming ramblings of Tabitha? She was like an emergency bomb squad, sent to defuse highly dangerous explosives in home or office. Sky wondered if Tabitha had a “feuding lovers hot line”.
Charlie looks at Tabitha with sheer appreciation for the girl’s spunk and energetic presentation, “Hi Tabby, cat’s out on the prowl this New Years?”
Tabitha scrunches up her nose and sticks her tongue out at Charlie in classic rock star form, “You’re just jealous ‘cause I have two tongue rings and you have none! Damn shame I’m not a lesbian, huh? How much does life suck for you deprived women? I know you want me. I am just too damn hot to handle!”
Then she grabs Charlie’s face with both hands and gives her a big kiss right on the lips.
Charlie’s eyes go wide when Tabitha accosts her, “Tabby, you are certifiable! Any man who is brave enough to date you should receive an award of some kind! How have you been? I’m afraid to ask where you’ve been! Any concert dates scheduled for the upcoming year?”
Tabitha crosses her arms, and raises her right hand to her chin in thought, “Well, Charles P. Charles, I think we’re playing at your mamma’s house next weekend. Then we might make a guest appearance on the public access channel in rural South Carolina. Folks from the sticks really appreciate our art! Maybe we’ll hang out with the future president of these here United States and eat pickled pigs’ feet under a willow tree. Sounds like a plan to me. They have good moonshine, right?”
Gary is magnetically drawn to the strange conversation taking place in his living room, and he floats over on the loud tones of Tabitha’s voice.
He pokes his head into the exchange, “Do I have to separate you people, or are you playing nice over here? I don’t throw parties to create tension, you know. I throw parties to draw attention to my fabulous taste in decorating. Charlie, your mom’s a designer. Would I get the Luanne Charles seal of approval?”
He smiled at Charlie and waved one hand out to display the layout of the land.
Charlie replied, “I do believe that dear old mama would lick and stick the stamp herself! That’s saying a lot for a woman who needs an assistant for her assistant. Wouldn’t you say?”
Gary looked at his feet and shrugged at the compliment, “I’m glad you think so, Charlie. Thanks.”
Charlie studies Gary for a second. She had never realized how cute Gary was with his clean cut good looks and gentle Mormon upbringing leaking through every pore in his body. A decent, wholesome gay man. Is there a more appealing animal on the face of the planet? Women and men both must be drawn to him like smoke to fire. His presence alone was a mix of choirboy, puppy dog, and corporate executive.
Tabitha’s voice breaks in again, “Hey, Hey, Hey, Charlie, are you checking Gary out? That’s just sick. He’s a boy. You’re a boyish girl. He’s got a boyfriend already, and you have this little number over here!” she says pointing at Sky with both arms like a stewardess directing people off of an airplane.
Charlie watches Tabitha’s little dance and says, “No, I’m not checking Gary out. He has the wrong plumbing!”
Tabitha is suddenly too distracted to respond to Charlie, “Hey is that Smew over there? I have to go pummel him severely for missing band practice yesterday. That freaking butthole is leaving with three shoes. The two on his feet and the one I ‘m going to cram in his ass!”
She looked at the circle of people around her as if she had just landed on the planet in a space ship, “Why can’t you gay folks breed, and have normal kids like me! Someone has to produce intelligent children to counteract all of the dumb-ass characters like Smew. Imagine a world full of natural, wholesome gals such as myself!”
Then Tabitha storms off with arms swinging at her sides. Even when she is mad it is funny. She is the type of person who couldn’t do ‘serious’ at an execution. There is a cloud of happy fun time that follows her around. Charlie watches her stomp across the room, and what should have been a hostile moment reminded Charlie of a handdrawn cartoon. Tabitha was a character for sure. Charlie wondered if Sky would ever write anything about this metal studded pre-Madonna.
“Now that is noteworthy!” Charlie thought to herself while starring at the bold red letters scribbled on to the back of Tabitha’s leather jacket as she walked away. It read, “No, I’m not a girl. No, I’m not a boy. No, I’m not your baby. Quit fucking up my day!”
Charlie had a look of confusion on her face when she turned to Sky and asked, “Who or what is Smew?”
Sky laughed at the way that Charlie said the word. The sound pushed itself from her throat as if it were a scaly little animal trying to get out.
When Sky stopped laughing long enough to speak again she said, “Smew is a lazy guitar player in Tabitha’s band. He never shows up for practice, and I’m pretty sure that he never shows up in the shower. He always smells like old chicken wing grease left in the pan. I can’t figure it out. He shouldn’t smell like poultry. He’s a strict vegan. Maybe it’s the natural food that he eats. Those bean curds might smell like chicken when they seep through a person’s skin.”
Charlie raised an eyebrow; “Okay, but how did he end up with a name like Smew? Is that short for something?”
Sky snickered, “Well from what I hear he’s short for a lot of things, but the nickname came from his strange habits. He was sitting in a diner with the other band members one night, and he was looking up the spelling of the word ‘smidgen’ for one of their song lyrics. When he was looking it up he came across the word Smew just above it. He blurted out the word to the group enthusiastically and without explanation. They have called him that ever since. His real name is Melvin. Smew could be considered an improvement!”
Charlie replied, “That’s very interesting, but what is a smew exactly? I have never even heard that word before.”
Sky proudly straightened her spine as she did when she knew something that Charlie didn’t; “It’s a Eurasian duck!”
Charlie’s eyes went wide, “Well, that might explain the smell of poultry then. Moreover, it’s a good thing you told me that. I might have to treat a smew’s injuries some day.”
Gary was observing the conversation and enjoying the interaction, “You two want something to drink? I would offer something to Tabby, but she is busy shelling it out to Smew with that potty mouth of hers. What am I going to do with that girl? Do you think she’ll ever change? On second thought, life would be pretty boring without her. Oh well!”
Sky pats Gary on the back in sympathy, “I would love some champagne. How about it, Charlie?”
Charlie nods her head at Gary, and he bounces away like a baby deer.
When he is out of sight Charlie looks over at Sky and says, “So, Gary’s a Mormon, huh? What was it like when he told his parents he was gay? More importantly, how did he explain that he was dating a black Muslim from Africa? His poor religious mother must have had a massive stroke?”
Sky lowers her voice when she begins to speak, “Actually, honey, his mother’s first husband was gay. Gary’s father is gay, and Gary has two gay brothers all living in Salt Lake City. I would hope that his mother is over the shock by now, and as far as the Muslim thing goes…I don’t think that it matters that much in the big picture of things.” Charlie nods at this little revelation just as Gary reappears with two champagne glasses.
Gary hands the glasses to the girls and says, “Where the hell is that sweet man of mine, anyway?”
Looking at his watch, “It’s ten o’clock already. I turn into a pumpkin at midnight, you know!” He puts his hand on his hip in disapproval.
Sky grabs Gary by the wrist and leads him a few feet away from Charlie to whisper, “Why is Rochelle here?”
Gary looks puzzled at the question, “You know Rochelle? I just met her a few weeks ago at her sister’s wedding. Omran is friends with Rochelle’s new brother-in-law. Rochelle and I had a long conversation at the reception, and I invited her to the party since she was going to be free. Is there a problem with her being here?”
Sky lowers her voice even further; “I used to date her! Charlie nearly killed me right here in your apartment! Rochelle is bold. She just walked right over to me, and Charlie reacted badly. I had to explain myself in a hurry!”
Gary looked like a wounded animal, “Oh honey, I’m sorry! I wouldn’t have done that if I had known about the bad blood factor. Do you think Charlie can deal with this for a few hours?”
Sky said, “Ya, a conversation with Tabitha broke the tension. How could it not? That girl is a dynamo in any situation. We should send her out to create peace treaties. I’ll handle Charlie later. She seems okay for now.”
Gary’s expression loosened a little with a reassuring pat on the arm from Sky. Then he walked across the living room to say hello to the other small groups gathering in his apartment.
Sky and Charlie stand talking in the corner for a few minutes until Omran appears in the doorway. Sky catches sight of him standing there with his arms full of paper shopping bags from the market.
She puts her glass on the end table and walks over to him to take a few bags to carry, “Omran, what’s going on? Gary’s been having small fits because you weren’t here yet.”
Omran smiles and laughs, “Do you have any idea how long I had to stand in line for this liquor? I don’t even drink alcohol! I’m waiting for Gary to send me out for cigarettes and pork chops one day. Next time, if he wants to poison his body he can walk six blocks in the snow.” He looks down at Sky in the middle of his speech and flashes his incredibly white teeth with a huge smile, “Sorry about that Sky, I just get upset when I am freezing cold. Could you get Gary to help me load this into the refrigerator?”
Sky nods, “I’ll help you take care of this.”
While Sky is putting bottles of champagne and vodka into the fridge she turns to Omran, “How’s the wonderful world of dentistry treating you?”
Omran shrugs, “Not bad. One day I will look back on this and laugh!”
Sky giggles, “It sounds like you’re pretty busy these days.”
Omran’s face falls into a frown, “I’m spending more time at school than at home. This is the first time I have seen Gary since last week. He must think that I am too busy to spend time with him.”
Sky looks into his eyes, “I’m sure that he understands. He’s a good boy and I know that he loves you very much. You two just have a period of adjustment to deal with. I hear that happens in relationships. Not that I’m an expert or anything, but I think that your bond is strong enough to survive medical school. When you’re a dentist he’ll have very few complaints, I’m sure.”
Omran flashes that smile again, “Thank you. I am sure that everything will work out. I just feel like I don’t have enough time to finish anything. How has school been for you?”
Sky shrugs, “It’s going pretty well so far. I think that I might be good at this whole journalism thing. If only I can find a descent job after graduation.”
Everyone gathered around the television when the clock struck 11:58pm. Sky and Charlie sat down on the love seat across from Gary and Omran. Tabitha resurfaced out of nowhere and plopped her ass right into Sky’s lap nearly giving her a coronary, “Howdy, Sweet Cheeks, where’s my New Years kiss?” Knocking Charlie’s legs with her heavy boots. “Sorry, Charlie. Ha, get it? Sorry Charlie! Anywho, how’s about that kiss, my little macaroon?” Tabitha purses her lips at Sky in a kissing motion. Sky grabs Tabby around the waist and pushes her playfully; “I’m saving these lips for someone special. Smew looks like he could use a good smooch!” Tabitha made a face like she just swallowed a lump of coal; “You suck! I was thinking of converting until you shot me down.” Then she got off of Sky’s lap and sat on the arm of the love seat. When the countdown starts Charlie and Sky lift their champagne glasses in anticipation of toasting a New Year. The voice on the television is counting backwards, “3, 2, 1…Happy New Year!” Sky toasts Charlie then leans in for a kiss. Gary’s apartment is alive with the frolicking enthusiasm of people hoping to mend the misgivings of the previous year and begin a journey into new resolutions. Tabitha extends her arm up in the air as far as she possibly can and shouts, “Happy New Year, everybody! Best wishes to you all! Drink to your health. Drink to the health of others, and what the hell…Drink because you want to!”